Sunday, February 21, 2010

the story of how we found out.

The day my daughter first came to us, with her then boyfriend fearing she was pregnant was intense and scary I imagine for her, but my way of handling things is to get the important stuff out of the way and then make fun of the whole thing .

So I awoke at roughly 6 am and went to make sure all my daughters were awake and preparing for school. only to find that my oldest was not in her bed, in fact she was not even in the apartment. ( ok so I won't lie a part of my heart panicked).

I am not one to sit idle so I paced for about 30 minutes, while my husband went and searched the complex. When he came in and said she was not in there I decided to go against one of my own rules and look through her notes and journals. I hated it when my parents invaded my privacy but this was one of the times when I felt justified to do so.

I stumbled across a note that said she thought she was pregnant and needed to go and buy a test. I shook I won't laugh that away. I tried telling myself that my baby would not do that to me. ( ahem notice the name of this blog now )

at 7 am she came into the house and told us that she walked to the corner store, in a small town I probably would have not had a problem with it, but we live in a big city and well this is a huge no no. but she was home and safe.

My husband and I decided while we were waiting on her that we would be having a nice long talk with her and her boyfriend this evening.

So after a long grueling day at college for myself and school for her we met in the privacy of our bedroom ( if you can call it privacy with a 15 and 12 yr olds standing outside the door attempting to hear every word).

the boy sat in a chair at the foot of the bed, beads of sweat forming on his brow, damn right he should sweat..... and our daughter sitting on the floor. ( I should have seen a problem already by simply seeing his seating arrangement but I digress)

we told them to spill the beans and my daughter sat tightlipped not responding and he looked at us and said that he and beth had been dating and that he may have unintentionally gotten her pregnant. Ok so being the big meany I am, I laugh and got blunt, did you have sex with my child I asked and he nodded, and I told him, "I do not know about anyone else but sticking your dick into someone is pretty intentional, I mean no one is a little pregnant."

My husband had gone to the store and picked up a few cheap pregnancy tests and she tested and they were all negative so we though wheew this scare is over...... ok so sometimes we are dumb or maybe it was just wishful thinking on our parts.

fast forward now to 3 weeks ago. I am at school, elbow deep in clay ( I am a ceramic artist)and i get a text from my oldest. it is nearing time for dinner so I am assuming it is the standard whats for dinner text and a picture pops up. a picture of a positive pregnancy test with the words I took this at school today. okkkkkkk so I clean up my station, wash my tools and clean up myself a little. Then I go outside and call my husband to find out if he knew what was going on. yep he knew and so I hightailed it home for yet another night of talking.

Now in between the negative testing and the positive testing days my daughter had broken up with her then boyfriend because of his rules.

I know this is short and not funny but this is the beginning so I think it needed to be included. I will do some sick days and some sibling rivalry posts in the next few days that should have everyone in fits of giggles to make up for it.

our first visit to the obgyn yay fun

Kids are funny creatures. At first I thought it was just my children who were goofy and that they would eventually grow out of it and into some awkward stage, but that has not happened so far.
I have 3 beautiful daughters. When they were younger I watched them grow and could tell you a hundred funny stories about their antics or views on things but a more recent one is one that I feel the need to share. For those with older teenager daughters this may help you discuss things with them that I somehow forgot.

My oldest is nearly 17 and pregnant. Let's just get that bit of information out of the way.
Now being that prior to the pregnancy my daughter was a virgin this adventure is all about her first visit to the obgyn. We discussed her body, sex, contraception and where babies came from. It was a not a one time discussion it was one that we had several times. So it was indeed a shock to me when I recieved the wonderful news of her pregnancy via text and picture message. ( yes really a freaking text) After a long discussion and allowed her to make some very important decisions. Then I did what all good mothers would do, I made an appointment with obgyn.

This is where a sense of humor over the situation should and did come in. She is whiny and sick and had already thrown up her breakfast on the morning, of her appointment so to say she is in a bad mood would be mild.

So we arrive at the doctors office and after some paperwork they call her to the dest and ask her to pee in a cup. she of course pouts and says," I don't need to pee, I am hungry and I want food now". The nurse tells her she can eat later and that she needs to pee in a cup and that there is water she can drink in the back. my lovely mild mannered daughter who is now crazy with pregnancy hormones flops ino the seat next to me and informs everyone in the waiting room that she does not need to pee, she is hungry and wants food now.

we gets called back for her to get weighed and checked in before going into the room to see the doctor. The nurse tells her again to pee in the cup and well you can guess what she says by this time. She asks the nurse does she need to take her shoes off to be weighed and the nurst tells her it does not matter. She then kicks off her shoes and gives out a snotty fine. I am rolling my eyes enough at this point that I fewar they will get stuck in my head this way. She finally pees in the cup and the nurse walks us back to the room and instructs my daughter to undress from the waist down. She looks at the nurse like she is from Mars and with an obvious nervous gulp asks in a shaky tone, "naked?" then asks if she is supposed to just sit on the table half naked. I laugh and tell her i am pretty sure that is what the sheet is for.

She undresses and sits and a moment or two later the doctor comes in. Now the next part has to go piece by piece so you laugh like I tried to hide doing, being that the naked and sheet thing that I already did earned me a pout and offended whine from my 16 yr old.

The doctor takes her seat between my daughter's legs and instructs her to scoot down on the table. My daughter moves a half an inch. The doctor tells her to move down a lot more. She shakily moves another half of an inch. After a coupld more times of this the doctor gently takes my daughters legs and pulls her to the end of the exam table.

So here my daughter sits wit behind hanging off the end of the table, feet in stirrups and knees practically fused together. After telling her that it is a little later for that now and the doctor has to stifle a giggle as she tries to pry her knees apart.
Once that is done, the doctor opens the drawer under my daughter and begins to get a speculum out. My normally sane child begins to writhe and moan ow ow ow like someone is killing her. the doctor informs her that she is not even touching her yet. she gives a little oh . Then the real uncomfortable part of the exam begins. The whining and ow-ing continues through the pelvic, rectal and vaginal ultrasound part of the exam.

When the exam is finally over, and the blood work is all done, we begin our way home. This is when my oldest imparts on me the knowledge and my obvious mistake in the sex and baby talk, " you know if you had told me that being pregnant was going to involve puking, being sick and not being able to control my emotions I would never have had sex." I wanted to smack myself in the head because I told her and her sisters, that having a baby is miracle and a wonderful when you are grown and ready for the responsibility of raising a child and that your life becomes about the baby, apparently I should also include that the many parts of the pregnancy, child birth, and raising them comes with bad parts too.

now the talk I had to have with her school, where they made me feel like a leper and treated her like a queen is a whole other story...